It's been about seven months since I last published a blog entry.
*Whoops!*
I believe that entry talked about me starting a job. I finished that internship the end of May. My family and I went on a vacation to the beach in South Carolina right afterwards, which did my heart good.
Now I am back in another searching phase of my life. It seems my whole life has been about figuring out what I'm going to do next. I'm looking at doing something like YWAM in the fall. YWAM, or Youth With A Mission, focuses on discipleship for 3 months and then outreach, to another country, for about 2 months. (The time itself varies for each YWAM base.) I need to make a decision asap and, as decision-making is not my strongpoint, I'm a little overwhelmed.
Meanwhile, I've been stretched as a Christian and teenager/young woman these past months. I started doing classes at my wonderful, God-touched church on Sunday mornings, which were designed to equip people to disciple and lead others. After that, I felt called to lead a group for 15-20 year old young women. I was terrified. In April, my kick-off group began. I think I had 2 girls show up. After that, each meeting was (and is) difficult in its own way. There has been six of us, including me and my lil sister, who I drag along to each meeting (no, she actually likes it) and all the girls are wonderful, interactive, and make leading so much fun. Still, I think some people are born leaders and some become leaders. Everyone can, and should, be a leader in some respects, but it didn't really come easy for me. The group has been meeting for 2 months and there are still kinks that need worked out, but that's how it is supposed to be.
It's amazing, what God can do through a slightly-willing person. I NEVER thought I would lead a group, until I was as old as my parents, at least. I NEVER would have considered going away for 5-6 months, studying the Bible and learning how to be a better Christian, and spend part of that time overseas. Not that I thought it was bad, I just wanted to stay at home in my comfortable, safe environment and never do anything risky or, even worse, alone. I have a big family - it's a pretty big step to do anything without one of them. But it's a step I'm willing to take now.
Does that mean I'm not afraid? No. Am I really excited about this? Well, yes. Yet my human flesh still knocks me down and keeps me from being utterly fearless about doing these things. I just don't want to miss out on what God has for me. That's the truth, plain and simple.
That's why I'm considering something that I never would've considered. Anyway, 2 Corinithians 12:9 has been my anthem of late, because I'm discovering it's really true that God uses our weaknesses and runs wild with them. Then I, and the world, will know that it truly is his Power accomplishing the things that I seem to accomplish. If I do anything, it will be with God's help and truly be HIS work. And if I do YWAM or something that involves work out of my comfort zone, it will be an even greater example of his divine power working through me. It will be His deeds and I will praise his name even more.
2 Cor. 12: 9a: "But He said to me: "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Why hide from my weakness, then? For when I let his grace cover me and bring me on when I'm terrified, lonely, confused, or hurt, that is when his power is made perfect.
In conclusion, I'm just as uncertain about my next steps as I was a year ago. But I know my greater purpose, which is to honor God and make him known. My purpose extends past the earthly confines we see and into the heavenly realms, where I will one day praise my Father face-to-face. Life's worries seem so insignificant compared to that, don't they? So I won't worry about tomorrow. Whatever happens, God's plans will be done (Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails, Proverbs 19:21)
Dream of tomorrow, the future is bright <3
P.S. Congrats to all the graduates of 2013. Keep dreaming.
